Sexual kinks aren’t fetishes but fetishes are kinky
Almost everyone somewhere deep down inside has got a kink! But, what is a kink? Well broadly speaking a kink as an unusual taste in a sexual behaviour. This could be anything from a foot fetish to full on whipping and spanking or sexy roll playing. There is a slight difference between kinks and fetishes but we have decided to keep things simple for this guide so we will be using the two terms interchangeably.
To give a broad overview of the differences a kink is something that one may or may not include in their sexual behaviour as a way to enhance pleasure and subjective experience. A fetish is something that primarily defines and is inextricably linked to one's sexual behaviour.
A fetish is typically concentrated on an object or a body part such as leather or feet, whereas a kink could be an action, sex act, behaviour or even dynamic between partners. Fetishes are often all-encompassing and the focal point of a person's erotic life.
Kinks and Fetish can be broken down into 3 main categories, so we have done the same below, these are: Vanilla Kinks, BDSM Kinks, and Extreme Kinks, so what is the difference you ask?
Vanilla Kinks – are mild sexual kinks that most partners are happy to try.
BDSM Kinks – are moderate sex acts that can also incorporate aspects of BDSM.
Extreme Kinks – extreme kinks are basically what the name says and are risky sexual practices that a select few would only be into.
If you are just curios or wanting to try something new, or if you are a seasoned fetishist, here is our definitive list of sexual fetishes and kinks!
Vanilla Kinks and Common Fetishes
This section is comprised of the mild kinks which are also referred to as vanilla kinks. Most couples are happy to try these in the bedroom or have engaged in them before. These kinks are therefore not too extreme or scary or off putting. What is Vanilla sex? , well vanilla in a sexual context means “opposite of kinky” and is not in any way involved with BDSM. “Vanilla” comes from vanilla ice cream, implying that “vanilla sex” is the plainest – it is the common “safe” flavour that everyone has tried.
Here is our list of vanilla kinks which are not too extreme:
Traditional roleplay games
This kink normally refers to roleplay scenarios that are commonly used in the bedroom and are a very common kink, these are the kind of scenarios you get in 70s porn films, with the corny music and big bushes! Examples would be a plumber comes to “fix the plumbing” or a sexy French Maid seduces a houseguest, or delivery man comes to “deliver a package”.
Lingerie, underwear and sexy outfits
Whether it is lacy panties or a sweaty jockstrap, revealing outfits can help to build sexual arousal and get one’s kinky juices flowing. Men and women are often aroused by outfits related to certain types of professions, such as a sexy nurse or firefighter. We do have a few kinky products available which would appeal to these fans.
Speedos
This very tight swimwear which usually if not always exposes the size of a guy’s penis with a bulge is good for foreplay, sex and pleasure. Both the Speedo wearer and the partner are aroused with this kink.
Rimming
Rimming, also known as anilingus, is the sexual act of licking a person’s anus. The butthole has many sensitive nerve endings, so rimming feels really good whether you’re male or female and this act can bring pleasure to both partners.
Fingering
Fingering refers to any sexual act where fingers are inserted into the body – usually into the anus or vagina of yourself or another person. Be sure to go slow and use lots of lubrication.
Food play
Incorporating food into the bedroom is incredibly common, whether you are seductively sucking strawberries or melting chocolate onto your partner’s body and licking it off. There are also many aphrodisiac foods that can help get you in the mood. If you want to make a mess why not check out our waterproof BDSM bed sheet.
Filming yourself
A more vanilla version of exhibitionism, filming yourself having sex is a very common sexual fetish. Even if you never share the video with anyone else, just knowing that you are being filmed can be a big turn-on. Feel like a porn star when being filmed having sex. Many also share this content as they get sexual pleasure knowing others are watching and getting off on it.
Striptease
The art of the striptease can be amazing foreplay, sexy stripping is a huge turn-on for plenty of kinky men and women. The anticipation of the reveal coupled with the sexiness of the dancing can really build sexual arousal for both parties. If you are interested in this kink there are many online tutorials out there showing how to striptease for women and stripping tips for men.
Oral sex
Blowjobs, pussy licking and sucking and 69ing… oral sex is commonly enjoyed by many. Lots of men, for example, enjoy watching a partner perform oral sex on them.
Armpit fetish
Some have a fetish for armpits, meaning that they find armpits inherently sexy. They might like to sniff them, lick them, or just look at them during sex. The act of doing these thinks are very arousing for some.
Tickling
Known scientifically as Knismolagnia, tickling your partner or enjoying being tickled is a fun and enjoyable kink that is a real turn-on for some many couples also find this a great foreplay activity.
Sex in different locations
Get out of the bedroom! Have you tried having sex in the shower or bath? Doing it on the stairs or dining room table? Getting busy on the washing machine? Take the repetitiveness out of sex by switching up the setting and try a different location.
Edging
Edging is also known as orgasm denial, this sexual activity involves bringing your partner to the edge of climax, but stopping before they orgasm. It is often combined with bondage, but you can do it in a more vanilla way too. The key of making it last is good communication, as soon as your partner is nearly their, stop and wait for the sensations to subside then start again. For more information on edging check out our edging blog post.
Mirror Sex
Have you ever had sex in front of a mirror? It is fun to watch yourself as it is a bit like watching porn, but it is you and your partner in real-time. Some kinksters like to put mirrors on the ceiling above their bed so they can watch while they shag.
Erotic Massage
Erotic massage usually involves massaging your partner while naked. Sensual massage oils and lotions can also add to the mood, with your naughty hands slowly but surely gliding to private areas of the body.
Sensual Touching and Caressing
Also know as Aphephilia is considered a fairly harmless fetish. Aphephiles may become aroused by the thought of touching or caressing someone or being touched and caressed. All touch may arouse aphephiles, not just the touch most of us consider to be sexual. It is also not unusual for people to become aroused by touch that is not considered erogenous by most.
Dirty Talk
People love dirty talk – it is a very common kink. You know what I’m talking about: “Yeah, you like that don’t you” “I am gonna fuck you so hard” “Yeah I love your dick inside me” - We are sure that you get the picture.
Foot Fetish
This fetish is actually quite common, 1 in 7 people fantasize about feet in some way. Feet are the most commonly fetishized non-sexual body part, whether you like to sniff them, lick them, suck them, or just look at them.
Sock Fetish
This is when the visual look of socks adds to the sexual desire of another person. The attraction can range from plain white ankle socks to rainbow striped thigh highs. On the foot or taking them off the leg and visa-versa. There is many possible variations to this fetish but as long as a sock is thought of as sexy then it constitutes a sock fetish. A sock fetish a branch of the foot fetish fantasy tree. You will also find a lot of porn where the models are completely naked except for wearing socks. See our related socks during sex blog post here.
Watching Porn Together
Watching porn with your partner is also pretty kinky, especially if you are both masturbating or pleasuring each other at the same time as watching. This kink leads to better sex and is enjoyed by may couples. Check out our benefits of watching porn blog post here.
Unusual Sex Positions
Some men and women have kinks for sex positions like the Reverse Cowgirl, Doggy Style or the Amazon sex position. New positions add new interest to sex and can make it more erotic and enjoyable.
Sex Swing
Sex swings and harnesses are commonly fantasized about. They make sex more comfortable, they give the active partner more power, and they have connotations of submissive and dominant sex, we do have two different swings available in our online store.
Anal Sex
Many have a fetish for anal sex, whether they are gay, straight, or anything in between. Before attempting anal sex, We suggest that you learn how to anal douche and use plenty of long lasting lube both of these products are available in our online store.
Pegging & Strap-Ons
Pegging is a sexual practice where a woman uses a strap-on dildo to anally penetrate her male partner – many see it as a form of gender role reversal. Lesbian women might also enjoy using strap-ons with one another. For some information on pegging check out our pegging post.
Sex Toys
Have you tried using sex toys in the bedroom? Many women love using clitoral vibrators while their partner penetrates them. Some men also enjoy their anus being penetrated while they have sex. Bringing sex toys into the bedroom opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Sex toys have also become so main stream that everybody needs to have a collection of adult toys.
Prostate Massage
The prostate is the male G-spot also known as the P-spot, it is found 2-3 inches inside a man’s rectum. Many men love getting their prostate massaged due to the intense prostate orgasms that can occur. It is possible for some men to ejaculate hands-free just due to prostate stimulation. There are also sex toys specially designed to offer targeted prostate stimulation.
Cum Fetish
Put simply, a cum fetish is a love of cum. You might like ejaculating, covering someone in cum, getting cum on your face, swallowing cum… the list goes on.
Crossdressing
Crossdressing (in a sexual context) usually describes a man who derives sexual pleasure from dressing up as a woman. Some also have an attraction towards men (and women) who cross-dress.
BDSM Kinks
Sexual fetishes often overlap BDSM, which stands for Bondage, Dominance, Sadism, Masochism. Some also interpret it as standing for Bondage, Discipline, Submission, Masochism. These sex acts usually revolve around the idea of power exchange, where one person (the “top” or “dom”) has dominance over another (the “bottom” or “sub”) in a consensual sexual manner. Acts of BDSM might also involve pain, unusual sensations, and aesthetic turn-ons like leather and latex. We offer a wide range of BDSM gear in our online store.
Power Exchange
This refers to a dominant-submissive relationship between 2 partners. It might just apply to the bedroom, or it could apply to other areas of your life too. It often includes intensive slave training where the bottom has to obey the top’s commands. When practicing BDSM, you should always have a “safe word” to indicate that you want to stop. If your mouth is gagged, consider a “safe signal” or a hand movement.
Chastity
Chastity involves locking away a man’s penis or a woman’s vagina with a special chastity device. The chaste person can only orgasm when their master allows them to who is often referred to as the keyholder. Check out our dedicated chastity section in our online shop. You may also be interested in our online sex blog post, Male Chastity is one of the Trendiest Fetishes.
Tickle Torture
Combine tickling with bondage and you end up with tickle torture. It’s a fun kinky thing to try as you watch someone laugh and wriggle around helplessly while tied to a bed!
Sadomasochism
One of the main tenets of BDSM, sadomasochism refers to enjoying pain being inflicted upon you and/or enjoying pain being inflicted upon others. Pain can be inflicted in many ways, such as pinching, slapping, spanking, whipping, flogging, etc.
Latex and Rubber
Latex fetishists (sometimes called "rubberists") find latex outfits to be sexually arousing, whether they’re wearing latex themselves or observing a partner in latex. Rubber fetishists are sexually aroused by wearing / seeing sexy rubber outfits. This often has some crossover with the latex fetish and sometimes the terms are used interchangeably.
Bondage
Whether you’re tied to the bed, put into stocks, or stuck in leather wrist and ankle cuffs – restricting someone’s freedom of movement and instilling a sense of helplessness is a very common fetish that many people experiment with.
Rough Sex
Slapping, pounding, hair-pulling… rough animalistic sex enhances sexual arousal for lots of people. Just keep it relatively safe!
Nipple Clamping
Nipples are powerful erogenous zones for both men and women – nipple clamping is just a more extreme version of nipple stimulation. Nipple suckers are great for amateurs, while Japanese clover clamps are favoured by pros.
Taboo Roleplay
Are you person of colour who enjoys being called racist names in bed? Perhaps you are a gay man who enjoys being taunted with homophobic slurs? Or do you enjoy being shamed about your small dick. Experimenting with taboos is a fun fetish, just be careful to avoid trauma and triggers.
Rape Fantasies
Up to 66% of women have rape fantasies at least occasionally, though fantasies of being raped can be experienced by both men and women. This form of consensual non-consent allows you to give permission for a partner to “rape” you at any time under certain conditions, though this kink remains controversial in the fetish community and it must be well communicated and consensual before attempting to engage in this kink.
Sensory Deprivation
Sensory deprivation is all about taking away your senses to heighten sexual arousal – it is commonly explored with blindfolds and earplugs.
Candle Wax Play
Melting hot candle wax onto someone’s body is thrilling, feels interesting, and carries a sense of danger. You will often see this in S&M porn scenes. We would recommend our guide on how to do wax play before trying this kink. Not all candles are safe for melting onto the skin! Find our introduction to wax play post here.
Sensation Play
Sensation play is all about experimenting with different sensations in the bedroom. Common tools for this kink include ice cubes, feather dusters, and claw scratchers.
Age Roleplay
Age play is about playing an age different from your own. It is usually a mixture of older-younger partners. Daddy Dom Little Girl is a form of age roleplay where women pretend to be submissive little girls and men pretend to be their dominant daddies, of Daddy and boy roll play involving on partner pretending playing the younger role for the daddy.
Imprisonment
In a sexual kink context, imprisonment is about being locked up in a cage (or locking someone else up) until a top allows you to be released. Some enjoy a sexual thrill from this loss of control and freedom.
Spanking and Hitting
Spanking is a form of punishment and sadomasochism that is often incorporated into roleplay and dirty talk scenes. OTK Spanking (over-the-knee spanking) is when the spanker puts the spankee over their knee like a naughty child.
Whipping and Flogging
Whipping is a form of impact play – the sexual arousal comes from the pain, fear, and anticipation of the next strike. Whipping can be very dangerous and only certain "safe zones" on your body can be whipped safely without excess pain or damage. This kink is not for amateurs!
Ball and Mouth Gags
Ball gags reduce someone’s ability to speak and breathe normally. They are usually incorporated into power exchange and bondage scenes. Some men and women also have a kink for gagging on penises, fingers, and other body parts.
Leather Kink
Lots of kinksters simply get turned on by wearing and seeing leather! In BDSM stores, you’ll often find leather boots, harnesses, hats, dresses, and more.
Queening
Queening, also known as “face-sitting”, is a sexual act whereby a woman sits on a partner’s face while they perform oral sex on her. You can even get BDSM queening chairs designed to make this kink more comfortable.
Puppy Play
Common in the LGBTQ+ community, puppy play is when a submissive partner dresses in puppy-like fetish gear, yaps, barks or growls like a dog, and crawls around on all fours at the whim of their human “master”. Pups often wear dog tail butt plugs and leather harnesses. Puppy play combines kinky power exchange with the inherent cuteness of puppies. Pup play has become very popular and we have a dedicated Fetish Gear section dedicated to in. You may also enjoy our blog post pup play latest sexual kink.
Electrostimulation or E-Stim
As you may have guessed, electrostimulation is an extreme kink where special electrical equipment is used to zap the body for sexual excitement!
Piercing
Piercing is a BDSM fetish where kinksters enjoy being pierced with special hypodermic needles. It’s often combined with bondage, and should only be attempted by experts.
Extreme Fetishes
Extreme fetishes usually involve an element of danger. Most of these sex acts should be carried out by professional fetishists or very experienced kinky people who take all the necessary safety precautions. Many of these could also be classed as extreme BDSM, and some of them may disturb more sensitive readers.
Humiliation
A humiliation kink is about being put in your place by a partner. Someone with a humiliation kink might, for example, get off on being told that their penis is too small or that they're pathetic or a slut. Humiliation kinks can also be enacted through different kinds of power play such as bootlicking or facials. It's all about the meaning that the people ascribe to certain acts.
Cock and Ball Torture
Cock and ball torture is about torturing a man’s penis and testicles for sexual pleasure. This could involve biting, scratching, clothes-pegging, and a variety of special CBT toys like the spiked crusher.
Medical Play
Regular doctor-patient roleplays are harmless enough, but more extreme medical play can involve specialized equipment like skin staplers and speculums.
Cuckolding
Cuckolding is a type of kink where a man enjoys watching his wife have sex with other men. The man is usually present when his wife is fucking the other man – he might masturbate while watching. Cuckholding porn has become very popular in recent years.
Pussy Pumping
Pussy pumps are sexual devices used to pump up a woman’s vagina and/or clitoris, giving her vagina a swollen, engorged look, as well as increasing sensitivity. Many women enjoy the feeling of blood rushing to their pussy, while some find the look of an engorged pussy to be sexy.
Penis Pumping
Penis pumps like the Bathmate Hydromax are used to increase the size of a man’s penis over time, but they can also temporarily give the penis an engorged look and increased size. Some people have a fetish for a freshly-pumped penis!
Golden Showers
Also known as piss play or watersports, “golden showers” are a fairly common kink where people enjoy urinating on other people or being urinated on themselves. This is know as Urophilia and getting a Wet Play Fetish Bed Sheet is a must.
Group Sex
Group sex, swinging, and orgies are a common kink for many people, though you should obviously be careful to practice safe sex with strangers.
Scatophilia
Scatophilia is an extreme fetish for human faeces. Scat fans may enjoy many sexual activities involving poop getting a Wet Play Fetish Bed Sheet is a must to keep your bed or furniture sake and clean.
Breath Control
A form of extreme power exchange, breath control involves things such as choking and covering the mouth/nose of a submissive partner to control their breath. Obviously, this fetish is extremely dangerous and should only be practiced by experienced professionals.
Exhibitionism
Exhibitionism is enjoying people viewing (or potentially viewing) you having sex or masturbating. It could refer to public sex, having sex in the window, or having sex on live webcam for internet viewers. Exhibitionism is inherently risky, but it’s incredibly thrilling for many fetishists!
Fisting
Fisting is a sexual act where a top inserts their fist (and sometimes their wrist or lower arm) into a bottom’s anus or vagina. Fisting is extremely dangerous and requires serious trust between the two partners. Special equipment like long-lasting fisting cream lube and fisting gloves is essential for this kink.
Urethral Sounding
Urethral sounding is a very extreme kink that involves putting sterilized sounds (thin metal rods) down the urethra of a man’s penis or woman’s vagina. If the rod goes far enough, it can directly touch a man’s prostate, creating intense sexual pleasure. This can be dangerous and requires tons of special preparation so this is considered expert play.
Conclusion to this kinky fetish exploration
It is ‘normal’ to have kinks and fetishes and it is an important to realise that sexuality is a spectrum so as long as what you are doing is safe, consensual and legal, go out there and explore your sexuality. Some are naughty some are wild but that concludes our list of kinks and fetishes! We have tried to include a little bit of everything from various sexual realms, but there are always new and exciting kinks to tick off your sexual checklist.
If you enjoyed this list, feel free to share it with your friends or partner who knows … you might end up having an extremely kinky and enjoyable evening!
If we forgot any let us know….
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