How to Choose Your First Dildo

5 questions to ask when choose the best dildo for you

Choosing your first dildo, like any other intimate product, is a very personal decision. With so many shapes, sizes, materials and styles available, knowing where to start can feel a little overwhelming. Remember, what works for someone else may not necessarily be right for you.

Think about how you intend to use your toy, the sensations you're interested in exploring and, most importantly, what feels comfortable and enjoyable for you. Taking the time to understand your preferences will help you find a product that suits your needs and makes your experience more enjoyable.

When you pick your first dildo, ask yourself these questions

Where Is Your Dildo Going, Front Or Back?

No, we're not asking where you're going on holiday or whether your favourite dildo is coming along for the trip! We're talking about where you intend to use it. Are you looking for vaginal stimulation, interested in exploring anal play, or perhaps hoping to find a toy that can do both?

Knowing how you plan to use your dildo is an important first step when choosing the right one. Different styles, shapes and sizes are designed to offer different sensations, and what feels comfortable for one person might not necessarily work for another.

Exploring Vaginal Play

If vaginal penetration is what you're after, you have plenty of options. You might prefer a slimmer, more realistic design for gentle stimulation, or something longer and thicker if you enjoy a fuller sensation. Curved designs can also be worth exploring if you're interested in targeted internal stimulation. Think about the length, girth, flexibility and overall shape that appeal to you.

Exploring Anal Play

If you're considering anal penetration, choosing the right design becomes particularly important. If you're new to anal play, start with a smaller, slimmer dildo featuring a smooth surface and a gradual shape. Take your time, use plenty of body-safe lubricant and allow your body to adjust naturally. Never force penetration or push through discomfort.

One essential feature to look for in any toy intended for anal use is a wide, flared base or another suitable retrieval feature that prevents the toy from slipping completely inside the body. Toys designed specifically for anal play are generally the best starting point.

If you're more experienced and enjoy larger toys, you may eventually want to explore longer or thicker designs. However, size isn't everything. Comfort, control and choosing a toy suited to your experience are far more important.

Can't Decide? Consider a Versatile Option

If you're unsure where to start, an average-sized dildo can be a reasonable starting point for vaginal use. Around six inches in insertable length is one option to consider, although girth, shape and personal comfort matter just as much.

If you want a toy for both vaginal and anal play, check that its design is suitable for both. A dildo with a properly flared base is essential for anal use, and you should always clean it thoroughly between uses. Ideally, use separate toys or condoms on the toy when switching between vaginal and anal penetration to avoid transferring bacteria.

Ultimately, there is no universal perfect size or shape. Take your time, explore your preferences and choose something that suits your comfort level. Whether you're going front, back or looking for a little versatility, the right dildo is the one that makes your experience enjoyable, comfortable and safe.

Are You Playing Alone or With a Partner?

One of the great things about shopping for dildos is the variety available. You don't necessarily have to limit yourself to one style, especially if you enjoy different types of play. Whether you're exploring on your own or sharing the experience with a partner, thinking about how you intend to use your toy will help you find the right design.

Solo Play: Enjoy Exploring at Your Own Pace

If you're buying a dildo for solo play, consider a model with a suction cup base. These versatile designs can attach to suitable smooth, flat surfaces, allowing you to experiment with different positions and angles while keeping your hands free. They can also be used to explore oral stimulation fantasies and other forms of solo experimentation.

Couples Play: Think About How You'll Use It Together

If you're planning to introduce a dildo into partnered play, consider how you and your partner intend to use it. Will your partner hold it by hand and control the movement, or would you prefer a hands-free experience?

If your partner wants to wear the dildo while penetrating you, or you're interested in exploring pegging, look for a model specifically designed to fit a compatible strap-on harness. Check the dildo's base dimensions and harness compatibility before purchasing, as not every dildo is suitable for this purpose.

Interested in Double Penetration?

If double penetration is something you'd like to explore, a dildo with a suitable suction cup base may offer additional versatility. It can provide hands-free positioning when securely attached to an appropriate surface, making it easier to experiment with different arrangements. Always consider positioning, comfort and control, and take things slowly.

Ultimately, whether you're enjoying some private time or exploring new experiences together, choosing a dildo that suits your preferred style of play can make all the difference. Think about versatility, comfort and compatibility before making your choice.

What Material Do You Want to Use?

Choosing the right material is one of the most important parts of buying a dildo. With so many options available, it can be difficult to know which material offers the best combination of comfort, durability, safety and value for money. Some materials are softer and more flexible, while others are firm, smooth and designed to last for years.

Here's a breakdown of the most common materials to help you make an informed choice.

Rubber, Jelly and TPR/TPE

These materials are often found in more affordable dildos and are popular for their soft, flexible feel and realistic-looking designs. TPR and TPE products can offer a little more flexibility and softness, while traditional jelly-style materials are often chosen for their budget-friendly price.

However, these materials are generally porous or difficult to sanitise completely. They cannot be reliably sterilised, so if you intend to share a toy, using a new condom between users is recommended. Wash them thoroughly according to the manufacturer's instructions, allow them to dry completely and store them separately in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight. Avoid storing them against other toys, as some materials can react with one another.

Silicone

Silicone is one of the most popular materials for premium adult toys, and for good reason. Body-safe, non-porous silicone has a smooth, soft-touch finish, making it comfortable to use and relatively easy to maintain.

Quality silicone dildos are durable, retain their shape well and can last for years with proper care. They can generally be cleaned using warm water and mild, unscented soap. Some 100% silicone toys can also be boiled or cleaned in a dishwasher, but always check the manufacturer's instructions first, as not every silicone product or design is suitable for high temperatures.

One thing worth remembering is that silicone-based lubricants may damage or affect certain silicone toys, so a water-based lubricant is usually the safest choice.

Although silicone toys can cost more initially, their durability and ease of maintenance can make them a worthwhile investment.

Glass and Metal

If you're looking for something a little different, glass and metal dildos are excellent alternatives. When manufactured from suitable body-safe materials, they offer a smooth, firm surface and a completely different sensation from softer silicone toys.

One of their biggest attractions is temperature play. You can gently warm or cool the toy using water to experiment with different sensations. Always test the temperature against your inner wrist before use, and avoid extreme temperatures.

Glass and stainless-steel toys are non-porous when properly manufactured and finished, making them easy to clean and sanitise. They are also particularly durable when handled correctly. Glass toys should always be inspected for chips, cracks or damage before use.

Another appealing feature of glass dildos is their appearance. Many are beautifully shaped, polished and coloured, making them look more like decorative glass sculptures than traditional adult toys.

So, Which Material Is Right for You?

It ultimately comes down to your personal preferences, budget and how you intend to use your toy.

Rubber, Jelly and TPR/TPE: Often more affordable, flexible and soft.

Silicone: A popular choice for durability, comfort and easier hygiene.

Glass: Smooth, firm, visually distinctive and ideal for temperature play.

Metal: Firm, durable and excellent for temperature exploration.

Whatever material you choose, prioritise products made from clearly identified, body-safe materials and always follow the manufacturer's cleaning and care instructions. A little research before buying can make a big difference to your comfort, safety and overall experience.

What Dildo Appeals to You?

Now that you've considered the size, base, material and type of lubricant you'll need, it's time for the fun part: choosing a design that you actually like!

Dildos come in an incredible variety of shapes, colours, textures and styles. Gone are the days when your only options were realistic flesh tones or the traditional pink and purple designs. Today, manufacturers experiment with everything from bold colours and artistic patterns to unusual shapes and elaborate fantasy-inspired creations.

Realistic or Fantasy-Inspired?

Do you prefer something that looks and feels like a realistic penis? Many modern dildos feature detailed anatomical designs, including realistic heads, veins and contours.

Alternatively, you might prefer something a little more adventurous. Fantasy dildos come in a wide range of imaginative designs, colours and patterns, offering something quite different from traditional realistic toys. There are no rules here; choose whatever appeals to your personal taste.

Smooth or Textured?

The surface of your dildo can make a big difference to the sensations you experience.

Some people prefer smooth, soft-touch designs with minimal texture, while others enjoy raised details, ridges, veins or other textured features that create additional stimulation.

Consider what appeals to you. If you're a beginner, a smoother design may be a comfortable starting point, while more experienced users might enjoy experimenting with different textures and shapes.

Colour, Style and Personal Preference

Don't underestimate the importance of appearance! Your dildo is a personal purchase, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with choosing one simply because you love its colour, design or overall look.

Whether you prefer something discreet and realistic, bright and colourful, or completely outrageous, there are plenty of options to explore.

One final tip: pay attention to the material and texture when handling a toy. If you don't particularly like how it feels in your hand, consider whether that same texture will appeal to you during use.

Ultimately, the best dildo isn't necessarily the biggest, most expensive or most realistic. It's the one that matches your preferences, feels comfortable and makes you excited to explore.

Will You Need Personal Lube?

The short answer is yes! Whether you're new to using dildos or have plenty of experience, personal lubricant is an important part of making your experience more comfortable and enjoyable. Unlike the body, most sex toys don't produce natural lubrication, so adding a little extra moisture helps reduce friction, improve comfort and make penetration easier.

However, not all lubricants are compatible with every toy material, so choosing the right one is important.

Water-Based Lubricant

Water-based lubricant is generally the safest and most versatile option when using dildos. It is compatible with silicone, rubber, jelly, TPR/TPE, glass, metal and most other toy materials.

It is also easy to wash off, doesn't usually leave a sticky residue and is suitable for use with condoms. One thing to remember is that water-based lubricants can dry out during use, particularly during longer sessions. Simply reapply when needed to maintain a comfortable level of lubrication.

Silicone-Based Lubricant

Silicone-based lubricants tend to last longer than water-based alternatives and provide a very slippery, smooth feel. They are generally suitable for glass, metal and many hard plastic toys.

However, be careful when using silicone lubricant with silicone dildos. Some formulations can affect the surface of certain silicone materials, potentially causing damage. Unless the manufacturer confirms compatibility, it's best to avoid this combination.

Which Lubricant Should You Choose?

If you're unsure which lubricant to buy, water-based lubricant is our recommended starting point. Its versatility makes it suitable for most dildo materials, and it is particularly useful if you own several different types of toys.

A few extra tips:

Use plenty of lubricant, especially when exploring anal penetration.

Reapply whenever you notice the lubricant beginning to dry out.

Check that your lubricant is compatible with your toy material.

Choose a body-safe lubricant and avoid products containing ingredients that may irritate sensitive skin.

Remember, lubricant isn't just an optional extra. It can make a significant difference to comfort, reduce unnecessary friction and help you enjoy your toys with greater confidence.

Get in the mood and visit our online MoodTime store now for some amazing dildo options.