Whether you love it or hate it… people go crazy for BDSM
People all over the world were fantasizing about the sexual and erotic escapades of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. BDSM sex was once a taboo subject but is not anymore due to the mainstream success of this book and film series. You are not alone if you are you fantasizing about the world of bondage play, spanking or restraint sex.
If you are thinking about going a little “Fifty Shades” in the bedroom, here are a few things to think about and get started. Most importantly you need to remember that this sort of thing requires strong communication and an open mind and a good BDSM starter pack, and we have you covered.
1. BDSM doesn’t need to be painful
This is one of the biggest misconceptions, it does not need to be painful. BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism… The movies most often explore the extremes, but that doesn’t mean you need to go down all of those avenues during your first foray. Start off with some ropes, bondage tape or bed restraints and maybe a feather tickler and blindfold. In time as trust is built, you can further explore these concepts in the bedroom and bring in additional props.
2. What are you looking to get out of the experience?
Ask yourself what your fantasy involves? Are you submissive and prefer to be restrained or tied up or are you wanting to take on the dominant role? What are you looking to get out of this experience? How open are you and your partner to trying new things in the bedroom? Take a look at what you want to get out of the experience both for yourself and then compare that to what your partner wants. Is there a middle ground? Communication is the key before experimentation begins. You need to keep an open mind. By trying new things your partner suggests, you may find new things that turn you on.
3. Start Simple with bondage play
After discussing with your partner, figure out where you want to get started. Take things slow to set the groundwork for what gives each of you pleasure. An easy step is by using bed restraints, blindfolds or get yourself a BDSM set, these sets are great as they have a selection of items and this gives you many options to choose from. You can establish a level of dominance and submission and figure out who likes which role. At the same time, being restrained and wearing a blindfold heightens a person’s senses. Establish a level of comfort. Experiment with temperature play. Try heating and cooling lubes, use ice cubes or use a glass massager dildo which can be heated or cooled. We also have cool burning candles which are great when used in combination with a blindfold. Use sex toys such as vibrators and butt plugs, if that’s more your thing. In time you can work your way towards whips and paddles and leather.
Sex requires a certain level of trust and that will build over time with your partner. Take your time and explore. This fantasy doesn’t need to be a “dark secret.” The most important aspect about entering the world of submission and dominance is communication. Without a mature and respectful outlook for your actions, the fantasy can easily be lost. The key is to communicate and truly listen to your partner to find out what they enjoy. There are two of you in this together and odds are it will take a few attempts to get a better understanding out of what makes each of you tick.