No one's around, right? Cool, let's have some fun
Ah, May, the temperatures are dropping in South Africa around this time but there is one thing that always heats us up in May? Masturbation, of course! That's right, guys and gals, it's time for Masturbation May! A whole month dedicated to self-love, self-exploration, and, let's be honest, just plain fun. So, let's unlock those Chastity Cages, drop those undies or panties and grab some Lube and dive into this tongue-in-cheek post on the joys of solo play.
The benefits of masturbation
First off, let's talk about the benefits of masturbation. It's a stress reliever, it can help with sleep, it releases endorphins, and it can even improve your sex life with a partner. Plus, let's face it, it's just downright enjoyable. Masturbation May is the perfect time to indulge in all of these benefits and more.
Now, some people may ask, "Why dedicate a whole month to masturbation?" Well, why not? We dedicate a month to everything else, from breast cancer awareness to LGBTQ+ pride. Masturbation May is a chance to celebrate one of the most personal and intimate parts of our lives. It's a reminder that we deserve pleasure, and that taking care of ourselves is just as important as taking care of others.
But let's not forget the fun side of Masturbation May. It's a time to try new things, explore our bodies, and get creative with our solo play. Maybe you want to try out some new Sex Toys, or maybe you want to experiment with different positions. The possibilities are endless, and the only limit is your imagination.
And speaking of Sex Toys, let's not forget that Masturbation May is also a great time to treat ourselves to some new gadgets. Whether it's a Vibrator, a Dildo, or something else entirely, there's no shame in splurging on something that will bring you pleasure. Plus, with so many options out there, you're bound to find something that suits your needs and preferences.
Of course, Masturbation May isn't just about physical pleasure. It's also a time to reflect on our relationship with our bodies and sexuality. For some people, masturbation can be a source of shame or guilt. Masturbation May is a chance to break down those barriers and embrace our sexuality in all its forms. It's a time to celebrate our bodies and everything they're capable of.
Get the most out of Masturbation May
Now, let's talk about some tips for getting the most out of Masturbation May. First off, don't be afraid to experiment. Try out new Sex Toys, new Positions, and new fantasies. Masturbation is all about exploring what feels good to you, so don't be afraid to get a little creative.
Another tip is to set the mood, as we say, Get in the Mood! Light some candles, put on some music, or create a playlist of your favorite sexy sounds. Creating a relaxing and sensual atmosphere can help you get in the mood and really enjoy the experience.
And finally, don't be afraid to talk about Masturbation May with your partner or friends. Masturbation can be a taboo topic, but it doesn't have to be. Talking openly and honestly about masturbation can help break down the stigma and make it easier for everyone to enjoy the benefits.
Ok now for some silly-ness!!
How many of These Masturbation Euphemisms Have You Heard?
Euphemisms for Male Masturbation
Jerking off
Beating the meat
Spanking the monkey
Polishing the knob
Choking the chicken
Wanking
Pulling the pud
Tugging the tiger
Whipping the weasel
Flogging the dolphin
Slapping the salami
Stroking the sausage
Milking the lizard
Rubbing one out
Pumping the python
Jiggling the Johnson
Mashing the melon
Fondling the frank
Scratching the itch
Playing pocket pool
Twiddling the twine
Playing five-on-one
Flicking the bean (not strictly for men, but sometimes used)
Polishing the rocket
Working the wood
Rolling the dice
Beating the bishop
Diddling the skittle
Masturdating
Having a solo session
Bashing the bishop
Waxing the carrot
Tossing the turkey
Jacking off
Jilling off (also not strictly for men, but sometimes used)
Petting the porcupine
Playing the skin flute
Going solo
Stroking the one-eyed snake
Taking matters into your own hands
Firing the yogurt cannon
Taming the shrew
Paddling the pink canoe
Dancing with the one-eyed sailor
Doing the five-finger shuffle
Giving yourself a hand
Beating your bishop
Playing tug of war with Cyclops
Making little astronauts
Pleasuring oneself
Making the bald man cry
Poaching your egg
Shaking hands with Dr. Winky
Blowing your own horn
Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger
Riding the mayonnaise surf
Shucking corn
Tugging the slug
Windsurfing on Mount Baldy
Debugging the hard drive
Auditioning your hand puppet
Oozing your noodle
Squirt hockey
Hand shandy
Smoosh smoosh
Burping the worm
Badgering the witness
Celebrating Palm Sunday
Making magic with leftovers
Pulling the Pope
Wrestling the eel
Liquidating the inventory
Hoisting your own petard
Fishing with dynamite
Beef Strokenoff
Jerkin' the gherkin
Cooking cucumbers
Consulting Dr. Jackoff
Tipping off the inspector
Strangling the Cyclops
Buffing the Vampire Slayer
Making Pearl Jam
Meeting the Goopman at midnight
Seasoning your meatloaf
Practicing politics
Hunting for Red October
Tossing egg salad
Crying on the toilet
The tartar sauce rainbow
Euphemisms for Female Masturbation
Flicking the bean
Rubbing one out
Diddling the skittle
Petting the kitty
Touching oneself
Masturbating
Tickling the taco
Playing with oneself
Using a vibrator
Playing solo
Stroking the pearl
Polishing the pearl
Fingerbanging
Pleasuring oneself
Getting handsy with oneself
Tending to the garden
Playing with the cherry
Making oneself come
Enjoying some alone time
Working the magic bean
Having a solo session
Clit stroking
Self-pleasure
Exploring oneself
Finding one's happy place
Tapping the button
Going solo
Making oneself feel good
Rubbing the rosebud
Stimulating the clit
In cum-clusion
Masturbation May is a time to celebrate ourselves and our bodies. It's a time to explore new things, treat ourselves to some new Sex Toys, and indulge in some much-needed self-love. So, let's raise a glass (or a Vibrator) to Masturbation May and all the pleasures it brings. Happy Masturbating!
