top of page

Self-Love is in the Air - It's Time for Masturbation May!

No one's around, right? Cool, let's have some fun

It's that time of the year - Masturbation May

Ah, May, the temperatures are dropping in South Africa around this time but there is one thing that always heats us up in May? Masturbation, of course! That's right, guys and gals, it's time for Masturbation May! A whole month dedicated to self-love, self-exploration, and, let's be honest, just plain fun. So, let's unlock those Chastity Cages, drop those undies or panties and grab some Lube and dive into this tongue-in-cheek post on the joys of solo play.

Masturbation May

The benefits of masturbation

First off, let's talk about the benefits of masturbation. It's a stress reliever, it can help with sleep, it releases endorphins, and it can even improve your sex life with a partner. Plus, let's face it, it's just downright enjoyable. Masturbation May is the perfect time to indulge in all of these benefits and more.

Now, some people may ask, "Why dedicate a whole month to masturbation?" Well, why not? We dedicate a month to everything else, from breast cancer awareness to LGBTQ+ pride. Masturbation May is a chance to celebrate one of the most personal and intimate parts of our lives. It's a reminder that we deserve pleasure, and that taking care of ourselves is just as important as taking care of others.

But let's not forget the fun side of Masturbation May. It's a time to try new things, explore our bodies, and get creative with our solo play. Maybe you want to try out some new Sex Toys, or maybe you want to experiment with different positions. The possibilities are endless, and the only limit is your imagination.

And speaking of Sex Toys, let's not forget that Masturbation May is also a great time to treat ourselves to some new gadgets. Whether it's a Vibrator, a Dildo, or something else entirely, there's no shame in splurging on something that will bring you pleasure. Plus, with so many options out there, you're bound to find something that suits your needs and preferences.

Of course, Masturbation May isn't just about physical pleasure. It's also a time to reflect on our relationship with our bodies and sexuality. For some people, masturbation can be a source of shame or guilt. Masturbation May is a chance to break down those barriers and embrace our sexuality in all its forms. It's a time to celebrate our bodies and everything they're capable of.

Get the most out of Masturbation May

Get the most out of Masturbation May

Now, let's talk about some tips for getting the most out of Masturbation May. First off, don't be afraid to experiment. Try out new Sex Toys, new Positions, and new fantasies. Masturbation is all about exploring what feels good to you, so don't be afraid to get a little creative.

Another tip is to set the mood, as we say, Get in the Mood! Light some candles, put on some music, or create a playlist of your favorite sexy sounds. Creating a relaxing and sensual atmosphere can help you get in the mood and really enjoy the experience.

And finally, don't be afraid to talk about Masturbation May with your partner or friends. Masturbation can be a taboo topic, but it doesn't have to be. Talking openly and honestly about masturbation can help break down the stigma and make it easier for everyone to enjoy the benefits.

Masturbation Euphemisms

Ok now for some silly-ness!!

How many of These Masturbation Euphemisms Have You Heard?

Euphemisms for male masturbation

Euphemisms for Male Masturbation

Jerking off

Beating the meat

Spanking the monkey

Polishing the knob

Choking the chicken


Pulling the pud

Tugging the tiger

Whipping the weasel

Flogging the dolphin

Slapping the salami

Stroking the sausage

Milking the lizard

Rubbing one out

Pumping the python

Jiggling the Johnson

Mashing the melon

Fondling the frank

Scratching the itch

Playing pocket pool

Twiddling the twine

Playing five-on-one

Flicking the bean (not strictly for men, but sometimes used)

Polishing the rocket

Working the wood

Rolling the dice

Beating the bishop

Diddling the skittle


Having a solo session

Bashing the bishop

Waxing the carrot

Tossing the turkey

Jacking off

Jilling off (also not strictly for men, but sometimes used)

Petting the porcupine

Playing the skin flute

Going solo

Stroking the one-eyed snake

Taking matters into your own hands

Firing the yogurt cannon

Taming the shrew

Paddling the pink canoe

Dancing with the one-eyed sailor

Doing the five-finger shuffle

Giving yourself a hand

Beating your bishop

Playing tug of war with Cyclops

Making little astronauts

Pleasuring oneself

Making the bald man cry

Poaching your egg

Shaking hands with Dr. Winky

Blowing your own horn

Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger

Riding the mayonnaise surf

Shucking corn

Tugging the slug

Windsurfing on Mount Baldy

Debugging the hard drive

Auditioning your hand puppet

Oozing your noodle

Squirt hockey

Hand shandy

Smoosh smoosh

Burping the worm

Badgering the witness

Celebrating Palm Sunday

Making magic with leftovers

Pulling the Pope

Wrestling the eel

Liquidating the inventory

Hoisting your own petard

Fishing with dynamite

Beef Strokenoff

Jerkin' the gherkin

Cooking cucumbers

Consulting Dr. Jackoff

Tipping off the inspector

Strangling the Cyclops

Buffing the Vampire Slayer

Making Pearl Jam

Meeting the Goopman at midnight

Seasoning your meatloaf

Practicing politics

Hunting for Red October

Tossing egg salad

Crying on the toilet

The tartar sauce rainbow

Euphemisms for female masturbation

Euphemisms for Female Masturbation

Flicking the bean

Rubbing one out

Diddling the skittle

Petting the kitty

Touching oneself


Tickling the taco

Playing with oneself

Using a vibrator

Playing solo

Stroking the pearl

Polishing the pearl


Pleasuring oneself

Getting handsy with oneself

Tending to the garden

Playing with the cherry

Making oneself come

Enjoying some alone time

Working the magic bean

Having a solo session

Clit stroking


Exploring oneself

Finding one's happy place

Tapping the button

Going solo

Making oneself feel good

Rubbing the rosebud

Stimulating the clit

In cum-clusion

Masturbation May is a time to celebrate ourselves and our bodies. It's a time to explore new things, treat ourselves to some new Sex Toys, and indulge in some much-needed self-love. So, let's raise a glass (or a Vibrator) to Masturbation May and all the pleasures it brings. Happy Masturbating!

Masturbation May is a time to celebrate ourselves and our bodies

Other recent blog posts:
65 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page